Rev Larry Kay / Retired's Page

These are more effective than any number…

When –
You are sad, phone John 14
You have sinned, phone Psalm 51
You are facing danger, phone Psalm 91
People have failed you, phone Psalm 27
It feels as though God is far from you, phone Psalm 139
Your faith needs stimulation, phone Hebrews 11
You are alone and scared, phone Psalm 23
You are worried, phone Matthew 8:19–34
You are hurt and critical, phone 1 Corinthians 13
You wonder about Christianity, phone 2 Corinthians 5:15-18
You feel like an outca… Continue

10. The Coast Guard has to become involved in some unexpected way.
9. The service is held at "Splash Mountain Water Park."
8.The Pastor has to wear a frogman outfit complete with air tanks into the water.
7. As the baptism begins the organist plays the theme from JAWS.
6. The preacher uses plastic animated `Billy the Bass' singing "take me down to the river" instead of the traditional shall we gather at the river.
5. You hear the pastor say, "Oops! Honestly, sister, I didn't know about that drop… Continue

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn''t have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called "woman."
God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the f… Continue

"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.".......................