Dealing With Depression As A Christian

Comment

Comment by Mandy on April 29, 2008 at 6:19pm

Dear Carla; Your situation is really sad; when I read how unsupportive your family is about your mental health, I wondered, are they Christians? This is an awful place for you to be in; because you have to rely on them to get you around and help you. Unless you have someone else who can get you around. I hope you have others who do help. My mother is the same way about depression or other mental illness. She sees it as that person being "weak". It is really sad, because she doesn't even recognize her own illness.
For you it is no wonder you are depressed. You are trying to manage a serious health issue, dealing with a handicap and having a family that is not supportive. I bet part of the reason why your family is not supportive of your depression is because it is an "inconvience" to them. They don't know how to handle it or understand it so they hate it. Instead of being able to lift you up, they let you down. Bless you for you endure so much. I am so glad that you do have the Lord in your heart, for he loves you unconditionally and cares for your troubles and problems. I do pray that your Blood pressure will be easily controlled and you will not have to face dialysis. Most people I take care of with chronic illnesses have depression and for good reason, they are dealing with so much burden that comes with their health problems. Between: financial, to work and other responsibilities it is hard to get through each day normally. I pray for you my dear and lift you to the Lord who loves you above all. May the Lord sustain you and carry through the tough times. May he ease your suffering and pain. May he soften the hearts of your family. May he bring you a dear a close friend near to be a helper. In Jesus name; Amen.

Comment by Carla Starks on April 28, 2008 at 10:43am

Dear Jen: Thank you for starting this group. Even though we have different situtations of dealing with depression, at least we can just talk about it to all and just be there to listen, that is just what people need.
Ok, let me get started about me. I was born with Cerebral Palsy and right after high school, I started to lose my balance. So, I used a cane to help a little, but it did for a while, until again, I got unstable. Then I used a walker for a period of time, but my foot kept dragging and I kept falling. So, I ended up in a wheelchair in 1990. I thought "humm...This is ok, at least I steal can get around." Ten years later I will never forget. It was right before Thanksgiving, I had to have a kidney biospy. The reason was, I kept having UTI (Urineary Tract Infections) The doctor would give me medicine to clear it up and then it would clear, but came back again, but this time with a lot of protein. So, after I had the biospy, The doctor said to come back after Christmas and I will let you know what the biospy was. Well on January 12, 2002 I found out I had a kidney disease. Oh, my goodness! All I can say, "What is the treatment for this?" The doctor said, from my stand point,it is mild. I just have to manage my blood pressure. But with this type of Kidney disease, It can progress rapidily, but thank goodness, so far in your case it is very slow. What I mean by rapidly, it means dialysis and kidney failure to insited of having to replace a kidney. So, I just have to manage my blood pressure. I said "Ok, I can deal with this." Gee was I wrong! I developed alot of protein in my system, that caused my feet to swell, so I have to use a lot of durectics, to try to keep the fluid off my feet and that has been hard. The pain has been so bad. But throught it all, I know I have God on my side. About 2 years ago, I was severly depressed and just though that I can't live this. I went in the hospital and got some help coping and some more medication. It has been 2 years since I have been in the hospital next month. It seems like I am getting to that point, but I know God is helping me in any way possible. My Mom can't stand me talking about pain and depression, so I just keep it in. She is mad because I have Cerebral Palsy on top of a kidney disease. I just wish I had some one to love me for who I am. It is not my fault for all of this, but my family has put the blame on me. So, here I am trying to support myself mentally. It has been one of the hardest things I have to do, but I have to do it in order to survive. I just need to learn to love myself and to remeber God is in control of my life. That is sure hard for me to believe for what I have been going through. I know there is a reason.

Comment by Mandy on April 26, 2008 at 9:34pm

Dear Jen; Bless you for what suffering you had to endure. Allot of the things that happened to me, occured in the past. When I was finally married to a wonderful loving man and had graduated from college and had a career, plus blessed with two daughters; I was struck with my depression. And I just didn't get it, why now! Weird, no sense. But one thing that I have realized is that when we are going through those horrible times; Our minds are in a different mode, survival mode, with all the endorphins pumping to keep us alive. It is when we finally think tht we can sit back and have a happy life; that: bam. It hits us. We relax, but the damage had already taken the tole on the mind. And the triggering event had occured. After I went through counseling and worked through allot of the issues. It took some time also before I really started the healing process and I am still working it out. But I do know that the doctors have finally found the right medications for me. Once I went off my meds: thinking this is crazy, I surely don't need to be taking these pills. But guess what; after 2 months i was having anxiety episodes again. I finally went back on the meds and my anxiety is gone.
You are very brave and couragous for what you have been through. I know the Lord has made you stronger in so many ways for what you endured. And I know how much the Lord has blessed us, for he has given us to each other here. I pray that each day is another step towards healing for you. You where dealt some terrible blows that would bring down many people and yet you stayed so strong for your children. God was with you. I believe that he will heal you. I also believe that things happened to us for a reason. This may not sound that great; but I would have never married my husband, had I not endured the suffering I did. Not that we didn't fall in love; we did, it just will take some explaining to do. But right now I just want to think about what you had to go through. And I think you are awseome, you came out with the Lord. Despite all. And I believe that if you have been to hell and back and have come out of it with the Love and faith of the Lord, that you are truly his child and a gift to others. May the Holy Spirit continue to work in our hearts and guide us. Love Tammy

Comment by Moomins on April 26, 2008 at 12:49pm

Jen and Paige, I am so glad you guys have shared your stories and are willing to accept help and to give help to others. I hope more women will share thier experiences in this group and find comfort and healing from one another.
Love to you all girls
kay
xxx

Comment by Mandy on April 24, 2008 at 7:28pm

To my Dear Friend Paige: you are extremely couragous and strong. I truly admire you. God has pulled you from the pit of destruction and used that very pit to be a source of bringing others together for the benefit of helping those who faced similar circustances. May God Bless you always. Please read my post under: To Everyone: started by Jen. With Love in Christ. Tammy
P.S. I will share some of my struggles with you all as well.

Comment by Paige Robertson on April 24, 2008 at 4:27pm

Im Paige, and basically everyone here knows me already. I have been with AAG since last October, and the growth of this place just blows me away. Especially when soo many beautiful, God loving women have joined that are struggling like me. Its encouraging. So thank you members, and new members for your openess, acceptance and love to me and the battle that lies withing me daily.
I will basically sum up my past:
I was abused and raped at 5. I never could fit in at school thru High School. I was labeled,either wierd,slutty,stuckup,spoiled,ugly,stupid,and just downright not wanted growing up with my peers. I was an artist from since I was born and got lots of love and recognition for that, but I never was treated like I was normal. My mom always thought something was wrong with me so I was put into therapy and medication since I was in Kindergarten. I cannot remember any time of my life that I wasnt medicated. I still am today. I struggled with my weight and binged and purged from Jr High to High school. (I saw my moms weight always fluctuate and saw her diet and excersize all the time) I always had a boyfriend and was sexually active since I was 13. My mom would take pictures of me in Lingerie and let all my boyfriends stay the night. She would let us all drink and buy us booze. I partied and dramk alot, but never smoked or used drugs. In High school, I was labeled such a slut that even if I didnt have a boyfriend I was a slut. I made myself sick and cut myself so I didnt have to go to school. I have scars from trying to commit suicide at the age of 17. My heart was broken from the end of very close relationships and boyfriends. I still cry because i loved them soo much. I was in therapy all those years and after High School I was hospitalized,6 times. I then went to colege,worked full time, and won alot of regional art contests and sold alot of artwork. I thought I was better. Then In College, A teacher made advances toward me and I was raped. I stiil finished college which was wierd, but I did it. I then got engaged and lived with a man(well, boy,20yrs old) for 5 years. In that time, we had it out with eachpother. He would drink and be abusive which in turn made me crazy and I always left and came back. He lied to me and drank always threatening to kill himself. Anyway, after stabbing himself in the leg and pushing me around, I left my home, and everything I had to him.
I then went into various jobs, and still continuing therapy and treatment. Then I found a very good and high paying job as an account executive at Vision International as a Account Manager. I worked there for 4-5 years. I that time I was still depressed so the only way I could fill the void and numb the pain, I became anorexic,bulimic and was addicted to diet pills which had ephedrene in it. I over time at 5'8, lost alot of weight and eventually at the dark hours of my death bed, I was 87 ilbs. I had been throwing up and excersizing all those years immensely. I worked out 6 hours a day, and threw up about anything that I put in my body. When I had lost my job because of this, I was put in to many inpatient addiction clinics, up in many NeuroPshyciatric institutes, and hopspitals.
I lost all my friends and didnt care. I had no one. When I got out, I even went crazier. I gained a little weight, but still thin. I went nuts. I started to become sexually active with anyone!! I was hired to work as an escort and in the car dealerships as a greeter and whatever else those men wanted me to do. Yes, anything. It was for the $. I got paid to do about anything, but I was soo lost that I thought this was love!!! I thought I got paid for love!!! Yay!!! I then was hired as a dancer and well, it just went downhill from there. I ended up homeless and no one to help me. My family had given up on me years ago, and had barely enough of anything to function. I remember sleeping in areas of bushes and trees at the local parks. But I felt peace. I FELT PEACE in the midst of my ,what I knew were my last days if I didnt get miraculously healed. I lay there covered by the nature. Covered by a bush, and two trees. I LOOKED AND FELT AND THE CLOTHES I WERE WEARING WERE SOO TRASHY< GOD WAS LAYING THERE WITH ME COVERING ME WITH HIS BEAUTY. Im crying now. I was the Mary Magdeline of this day. And the Lord looked upon my burned out,thin,frail,abused,sexually immoral boidy, and said, "My daughter,do not fear. Look up at me. This is not my plan for you." The sun was bright and I felt a warmth that sent chills down my spine.
Well, you all know me now. I have been married for 9 years, I have my own art/design business,my family is restored and I have counteless friends. I have painted and done art for many homes,buildings.and churches. I praise God for my life,a nd all that I have. However, as you can imagine, I still suffer with pain form the past and which in turn has caused me to suffer in trying to be "NORMAL". I still do not see myself as ok. I want to be just ok. I dont need to be some movie star. I want to be happy, and to feel ok in my own skin. Can you imagine this old bruised,beaten and sick body that I have had? I now have 2 disk herniations, and I have had to have all my teeth removed because of the bulimia. SO YES, those teeth you say are fake!!!!!! all $10,000 of them. God paid for those.
Well, Ill shut up now. But those who know me, praise God right? I praise God for this group. THANK YOU JEN!!!

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