Dealing With Depression As A Christian

Add a Comment

176 Comments

Comment by dean may 2 hours ago

Please hear what I’m not saying


Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks,
Mask that I’m afraid to take off,
And none of them are me.

Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me,
But don’t be fooled; for God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure,
That all is sunny and unruffled with me,
Within as well as without,
That confidence is my name and coolness my game,
That the water’s calm and I’m in command,
And that I need no one.
But don’t believe me.
Please

My surface my seem smooth, but my surface is my mask.
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies on smugness, on complacence.
Beneath dwell’s the real me in confusion, and fear, in aloneness
But I hide all this.
I don’t want anyone to know it.
I panic at the thought of my and fear being exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
A nonchalant, sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation and I know it.

That is if it’s by acceptance, if it’s followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me, from my self, from my own self-built prison walls,
From the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me of what I can’t assure my self
That I’m really worth something.
But I don’t tell you this , I don’t dare. I’m afraid to.
I’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that you’ll laugh, and that you laugh would kill me.
I’m afraid that deep-down I’m nothing, that I’m just no good, and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game,
With a façade of assurance with out, and a trembling child with in.

And so begins the parade of masks,
The glittering but empty parade of masks.
And my life becomes a front.

I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you every thing that’s really nothing,
And nothing of what’s everything, of what’s crying within me.

So when I’m going through my routine do not be fooled by what I’m saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I’m not saying, but what I can’t say. I dislike hiding.
Honestly.
I dislike the superficial game I’m playing, the superficial, phony game.
I’d really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me,
But you’ve got to hold out your hand.
Even when it’s the last thing I seem to want, or need.
Only you can wipe away from my eye the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.

Each time you’re kind and gentle, encouraging,
Each time you try to understand because you really care
My heart begins to grow wings very small wings, very feeble wings but wings.

With your sensitivity, and your sympathy, and your power of understanding.
You can breath life into me. I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to, how you can be a creator of a person that is me if you choose to.
Please choose to!

You alone can break down the wall, behind which I tremble,
You alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic and uncertainty
From my lonely prison.
So do not pass me by! Please do not pass my by!

It will not be easy for you to do but please do.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds very strong walls.
The nearer you approach me, the blinder I may strike back.
Its irrational, but despite what the books say about man,
I am irrational.

I fight the very thing that I cry out for,
But I’m told that love is stronger than walls,
And in this lies my hope.
My only hope.
Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands-for a child is very sensitive.
Who am I, you may wonder? I’m someone you know very well.
For I am every man and every woman you meet.

Comment by Maggie Flagg on October 5, 2009 at 10:08am

Jeanne, I am going through the same thing right now. It is very frustrating I know. I'm suppose to be losing weight so I can have a total hip replacement. I have learned to talk myself out of alot of junk food at the store, but some times, I fail at being good. I know I am eating to fill the hole in my heart for the loss of my daughters who don't want me in their lives. That is a huge hole too. So, I really understand where your coming from. Maybe we can help each other? Bless you and I will pray for you to have strength to conquer this problem.

Comment by Jeanne Stapelberg on October 5, 2009 at 6:51am

My biggest setback is emotional eating. As I gain weight I get more depressed. The more depressed I feel the more I eat. I really need to break this unhealthy cycle.

Comment by Bogdan Wrzesinski on September 24, 2009 at 8:49pm

My life is my ministry:
Foces on: Building Bridges to Jesus
godsent247.ning.com/group/ecademy

Building Bridges to Jesus

Comment by Tonya Hill on September 20, 2009 at 12:30am

Hope everybody is doing well. Its late here about 2:28 a.m. I'm having another night where its difficult to sleep but that is ok bc Jesus is watching over all of us this evening.I hope everybody has a peaceful and wonderful night.
Your Friends in Christ,
Tonya and Ron

Comment by Connie J Dulaney on September 19, 2009 at 11:54pm

Thanks for inviting me to join.

God Bless!

Comment by Maria Burger on September 19, 2009 at 12:30pm

Comment by Maria Burger on September 18, 2009 at 10:09am

Comment by Tonya Hill on September 18, 2009 at 7:57am

For Dean:

Christian Glitter by www.christianglitter.com

Jesus will watch over you!!!!

Comment by Tonya Hill on September 18, 2009 at 7:54am

Dear Dean,
I will say a special prayer for you.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• ...
• 16
• 17
• 18