Hurting and praying for my husband to return.

[Shawn H.]

My husband moved out last Friday, and has taken off his wedding ring. He will only talk to me about the children / money / etc, but not about our issues. He keeps saying he's not working on this right now, but wont' say what the future holds. I am trying to give him time to cool off, but it seems he's not even trying to do anything to find peace / reconcile (church, counseling, etc). It's as if he's just running away, trying to avoid our issues.

We have both made mistakes, and I stand here committed to working with him to fix them, but I cannot do it alone. I want him to have a heart change, and become committed to our marriage, committed to making changes with me to fix our problems. Letting God fix them! I pray every day, all day, that he will let God change his heart. I hate not being able to do anything... I feel so frustrated; this is not how my marriage was supposed to turn out. I feel so cast aside, rejected, alone, unloved, lost. It is too much - will it ever stop?

I keep trying to not focus on him, but on myself and Christ, but it is so hard. My days seem endless.

[Paul]

I'm so sorry to here this Shawn, i completly know where you are coming from, only last year my wife left me and took our baby with her, she will not talk to me or let me see our baby, she even had the police on me for sending her love letters of how much i care and how this is not of God, lets try again, lets see a councilor,ect ect (harrasment they call it) she is cold and cruel, and unforgiveing, i even wounder if i really did marry a christian, or a jezzabel!! she says she does not love me. Me too could not sleep for ten weeks i felt like death, my mum died because of it, and i felt trampled on by satan himself. i wish there were an easy fix, but Shawn there is not, none. We must get through this and God will help us even though we dont think so right now, it is like a prision sentance in a very dark place, but know this for sure Shawn One day you will be released.Amen, there is light at the end of the tunnel Shawn, but you must stay on the train namely Jesus, be strong it's not going to be easy, but one day you will see that it was a part of God building your character, even though it was part our fault, but all things come togeather for good for those that love Jesus Christ, your friend Paul

[Shawn H.]

Thanks. Sunday mornings are really hard, because I call him every time and ask him to go to church with us. Last week, he said he didn't know, and would show up at the last minute if he felt like it (he didn't). Today, he wouldn't answer his phone, and I just left him a message. I know if he would only turn his heart back to God, everything would fall into place. It is so hard, not being able to do anything, except for to just wait, pray, and show him love when he comes around to see the kids. I never expected this. But I'm standing in faith, and waiting as best I know how. Thanks for your words this morning.

[Sara]

Shawn,

I am going through the same thing, only he left because of another woman. It has been almost 9 months and nothing has changed except me. I held my identity in my marriage, my children and not in Christ. I am a child of God and He has provided all I need. I am not saying I don't miss my husband and there are days that are still hard but this is God showing you just how strong you are with Him. I still hurt because I, too, constantly feel that I am not good enough, rejected, worthless and alone. Those feelings come from the enemy, it is so hard but you have to believe what our Lord says about us. Trust the Lord with all your heart and take heart that He will never forsake you or leave you, that is what will get you through. My husband is in God's hands now, there is so little in life that we actually have any control over but absolutely nothing is beyond God's control. God has plans for all of us, He already knows what is going to happen we just have to trust He will pick us up out of the pit and put us back on solid rock. When He does we will be better, stronger and more loving Christians for it. This has showed me just how much I need God and putting my hopes, trust and dreams in a human being will always lead to disaster. Only God can never let you down, love you no matter what and He will never leave you. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through because when you marry, God makes you one. When they leave it is like half of you is being ripped away, it takes awhile for that to heal. I am not sure how long because I am still healing. I pray that the Lord is with you and you are comforted by His presence. Just trust Him and love Him and He will get you through.

[Rosa]

I Understand Your Pain I cried for you and I cried for myself Just Keep Praying God will never Fail us...its not a reject from god...just keep praying I will keep Praying......God bless you...and your family.....

[Karin Franklin]

Dear sister I know your pain....My husband is here during the day's he work's but on his days off he is with another..My days to are endless but I know God is going to bring me through and that I need to focus on myself and Jesus..yes it is hard and that is why we are here

[Daine]

My husband hasn't moved out yet, only because we cant afford to live separately. He told me he doesn't love me 9 months ago, and has been sleeping on our couch for about 4 months now. He denies another woman, but I'm sure there is. I catch him in lies all the time. He walks through the house compeltely ignoring me. Doesn't talk unless I ask him a question, and doesn't like some of the questions that I ask (like where were you this evening). Stays out late and leaves early.
There is no love left in him. Yesterday I did get him to talk alittle to me about somethings for the first time in months. He's given up on 'us' ,on himself, and on God.
He's a completely different man that I've ever known him to be.
After 27 years of marriage it's hard to see how anyone can do that.
A website that has been extremely helpful for me is midlifeclub.com if you go to the forum there, you can post and read about others also going thru similar situations just like these here. My husband is in the middle of a midlife crisis, no doubt about it.

Like others have said, just keep focusing on yourself and your relationship with God, that is what will get you thru the days, the minutes, and sometimes just the seconds at a time. It does get alittle easier.

[felixpadua]

hello shawn, take your wedding ring off too. let him run away. let him go to where he wants. don't ask him to come back. don't focus on him, don't feel frustrated, don't feel cast aside, rejected, alone, unloved and lost.

here are things i suggest you can do -1. forget him, he is not worth your time 2. throw away or burn all his belongings from your home, 3. throw away everything that will make you remember him -even your wedding ring, 3. if divorce is possible in your area, divorce him, 4. if you have children, give all the children to him and let him raise these kids himself, 5. don't be a martyr, when your marriage broke down, it was his fault, he left.

when you have done these things - the next steps you can do are the ff: have a total physical makeover, get a new haircut, a facelift, go on a diet and lose the excess pounds. make yourself beautiful, fix your teeth, get new clothes, get a job and start circulating with friends. life is too short to waste on a husband who doesn't know his responsibilities.

enjoy the remaining years of your life, if your husband left, so be it. don't fret about it and don't think it was your fault. it was his fault, he left. he's nothing, he's not a man. he's a sissy, let him go to the whores.

live your life right, and with gusto. this is your best revenge to your husband who is now wallowing in dirt and sinful life. a man who leaves his wife and children is in deep spiritual trouble so the least you can do is include him in your prayers, that God forgive him and God will help him rectify his errors.

don't feel like you have done things that made him left you, he left because he wanted to leave. that was his poor choice, when he married you he vowed to be with you for better or for worse. where is that vow now? again, he's nothing, he's not worth searching for, he's worse than a dog's dung.

shawn, my dear, forget your husband and enjoy the remaining days of your life with your loved ones and with the Lord.