What is the purpose of God in Divorce ?

[grace09]

I am recently divorced. My ex spouse & myself are christian. I always think Christian marriage is different cos we serve the same Lord. But, I am saddened to know that the man i married is someone who proclaimed to be christian, but always tell lies & do things behind my back, and like to have flings with his female colleague ,some of them are married and some are not.

What is God trying to show me in this Divorce ? Feel lost.

[Theresa]

Grace,
God loves you and God loves your husband, you both mean a lot to God and your marriage means a lot to Him also. I believe that there is nothing is impossible with God and He can and is able to restore anything if we do it His way and trust Him,
John 10:10 says that the thief comes not but to steal, kill and destroy but Jesus came to give us life and life more abundantly.
I know you got divorced now but this should not stop you from praying for your ex husband, praying God's best for Him, God's will to be done in His life and that He will be the man that God intended for him to be and pray that God will show you what He wants you to do and say in this situation.
I encourage you with all my heart to purchase Terry Scerine's book (A Joyful Marriage Fortress), you can get it on Barnes and nobles website or Amazon or just type the name and you can find it, good book and it will certainly give you the answers you need.

[grace09]

Honestly, my heart is filled w deep anger/resentment towards my ex. He has not really sincere apologise for his wrong. I am too weak to pray for him or i feel he dun deserve my prayer esp i m not the one who hurt me. mental struggle. I just do not know why cos some married woman , he rather risk the marrige lost and hurting me.

[LT]

Grace09,

As long as you refuse to forgive him before Father God you will remain in a prison built on anger and confusion, a prison in which you hold the key. The key is the "key of forgiveness.". If he has wronged you have the freedom to forgive the debt before Father God. It frees him, but more importantly it will free you. If you release it before the Father, then if he ever asks you for forgiveness face-to-face you will be able to extend that forgiveness.

Lord Bless,
LT

[Theresa]

I love you Grace and Jesus loves you so much more, He is mindful of you and He knows exactly what you have been through, no question about it and I believe He is going to give you the victory you need because he loves you, but I believe that in spite of your husband sins, God loves him too, God does not approve of what he has done to you and your marriage but He loves him and He wants him to return to Him like He loves you,
. Satan is real and he is at work to destroy marriages and Christians are in this delema just like everybody else, so sad.
"Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the HEAVENLY PLACES" (Eph. 6:12).
Your help comes from God's word and what He says in His word for you. Go to the scriptures and find out what our Lord is saying and ask Him to give you the strength and the grace to love, forgive and obey.
You are in my prayers and I declare you are blessed in Jesus name!

[grace09]

Dear Therse :
THanks for your assurance that God loves me, In fact, when these things happen, i ever struggle whether God loves me...Is so heart warming to know that there is "stranger" out there who is kind hearted enough to bless me and keep me in prayer. If i get a job, i will share my joy with you!

I hope i can move on with God's strength, sometimes is like taking a few steps forward, and than fall backward that kind...

Recently read a book call "When your marriage dies" by PETHERBRIDGE. IT has bless me in a special way.

My friend told me divorce is not a dead end, it could means a new begining...hope so..

Therese, u take care and i wish you well :) blessings unto u

[sandra v villamero]

HI GRACE09...when I read your blog, I admit it, I just stare at your letter, immovable for a minute, tonguetied , I too am lost and in my mind I had this question too, asking my LORD which is wrong, but for everything that happens HE had a purpose and I am sure this kind of trials is for the good of both of you. I am not saying I am correct, but if you will remain in this state, with all the excess baggage that wieghs you down, you can hardly forward to our LORD, Release all and had it to HIM and allow Him to do His will in your life to feel light, trust HIm and release blessings too to your ex husband for the goodness of both you and him. Surely GOD is in control this time with your life and just be still and listen....HE is most with you at this time. GOD BLESS YOU !

[grace09]

Hi,

At this stage, i cant release blessing for my ex cos i m still angry..But i am learning to pray to God. By mediating on Philip 3 :13-14 helps me, But one thing i do forget what is behind, i strain forward to win the prize that christ has called me heavenward in christ jesus.

U shared that you have this questions too ? u also in divorce ? can share ? u take care & know that u are not alone. Recently ,i joined a divorce support group and found out that there are some ladies who went thru more tough times than me and bad betrayal experience....

[Bishop Dr. Nicholas C. Zanni]

Well, God is showing you that perfection is not what makes a marriage real but acceptance of each other. Lies and doing things behind your back are just weaknesses that needed to be addressed and help your spouse to have more confidence in yoou and stop being afraid of you.

The fact that you do not mention unfaithfulness (extra marital affair) could mean that he is just secretive about things. That would mean that he was either afraid or is insecure about your reactions to things he does. Perfectionists can be very judgemental and insesitive to spouse's gestures and that can lead to the other hiding certaing things. If you love him, then help him to become a better person. I have been married for 23 years and I know I know one thing, I am still knowing and discovering my wife and must celebrate both her strength and weakness.

[grace09]

Thanks for your replies. I did not put everything in my discussion. Yes, i divorce him not only cos lies, but more of the discovery of his affair with his colleague, who is married and has 2 kids. I know that a marriage that has no trust/committment is hard to go on, That is why i decide to divorce.

Depsite my anger of betrayal, I know that God is watching me from above and guiding my every step, i chose to believe that God knows what is best for me.

Thanks for your replies.

[grace09]

Dear Dr Nic :
I forget to add one point in my earlier replies, I m surprised by your feedback regarding my spouse being afraid of me that is why he chose to be secretive. With regards to the latter , i do not know..I do have some friends where their hubby also have affairs and lied to them that they ve work to do. I guess being afraid and intentionally deceive the spouse for own gain are 2 different things. Maybe u can share more abt this "being afraid" cos i want to know more. THanks alot. God Bless.

[prince mupenzi]

DEAR SISTER why do u divorce your husband is he really a christian or not , one thing i know is u need to pray for him coz what GOD has joined no one can separate , have consulted ur poster