Dealing with difficult co-workers

[Mandy]

Dear Christian friends; I have a co-worker who is very difficult to work with and everyone complains about her. She recently recieved a higher degree in nursing and she is extremely "proud" so much so that she won't even listen to the charge nurse; she goes her own way. Making it difficult in the unit to work as a team. It has been brought to the directors attention; but of course being mature adults she wants us to work through these issues with her. She feels she should have more "power" over others due to her new degree. However she continues to work in her current position. We rotate charge nurse duties among a few of us and when we are in charge she won't even be willing to allow to be delegated to. She always is disagreeing and telling the charge nurse she thinks this way will be better and she just goes off on her own and does it her way. She also boses other people around in somewhat of a disrespectful manner, right in front of patients and doctors. Like I said the position she holds is no different than the rest of us; she is not administrative. The sad thing is, is that she is creating so much more stress in an already stressful job. She is very competitive and I have noted her even given wrong advice to newer nurses, because she does not want to admit that she does not have the answer. I attempted to sit down and talk to her once, telling her that she has allot of potential to add positive outcomes to our unit if she would consider to work as a team player. She agreed when we were talking; however after we went back to work she reverted back to her "proud & independet mode of working"
Does any one have any Christian advice on approaches to take. She has already had quite an argument with our secretary. Telling her that she had the wrong information and she refused to back down untill the secretary would let her have the last words. Others are still wanting me to help with this situation; but she is so strong-headed and I don't know anymore how to deal with her. I tried by telling her the good atributes she had and how she could help; but that was to no avail. Thanks for any advice.

[Carla]

Hi Mandy,
I am sorry to hear of your struggles at work. It is difficult to be 'in the world but not of it.'

As i read your post a few things come to mind. satan has a field day with stuff like this...this type of situation is where he gets to 'pull the strings'. So, you must turn around..you are facing the wrong direction...

Where's Jesus when all of this is going on?

Well, He is right with you, and it is important to pray in the Spirit at all times to be fully aware of his presense.

Also, remember to put on your spiritual armor daily. Eph 6:10.

Hebrews 12:14
14 Try to live in peace with everyone, and seek to live a clean and holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord.

Romans 12:19
“Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, ‘I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it,’ says the Lord”

When we have been wronged, and know we did nothing to deserve harsh treatment from the offender, we normally begin to think of retaliation. Retaliation or revenge is not the right course of action. We no longer dwell on the offense when we relinquish forgiveness, allowing God to take care of the vengeance in a fair, just, and appropriate manner.

If you feel yourself judging her, ask for forgiveness, say that you need help to not judge again, and move on, you are forgiven. God is the judge..not us....Whew! Thank God!

Which leads to forgiveness...on your part. You may feel like she does not deserve grace and forgiveness....but neither do we, But God forgave us..so we are called to forgive others. Immediately, in that moment when the circumstance is happening, pray silently 'Lord, please forgive her, she doesn't understand. Thank you Lord. Amen.' You will feel that something has shifted in you, and you will slowly find that more and more you will not be as affected. Continually hand these things over in prayer...that is what God wants you to do. He loves you! And He will rejoice over you with singing when you trust Him to hand these troubles over to Him.

You have a stressful job Mandy. I could not do what you do. I will keep you in my prayers.

God Bless you sister....carla

[Mandy]

Thank you Carla and Jack for your words. I do pray every day on my way to work. And i do well with the situation. But when I am placed in charge for the day everyone looks to me to "fix it". Administrative counts on the charge nurse to keep order. I have requested to not even be placed in charge due to this. Because I want to be able to live in peace and not be placed in the position where I have to delegate to others who take offense to being delegated to. I just don't want to be placed in charge. Is that cowering out!

[Carla]

Hi Mandy,

God will put circumstances in our lives as a sort of training. He knows what is in store for us and He will never give you anything more than you can handle. IT is through our trials that we are also called to live in peace. Your strength to handle it does not come from you...but from God. Jesus will help you---He always does!
Often when we pass a certain season in our lives we will look back and say "Oh..so that's what God was working on with me"...or "That's what God was preparing me for."

God Bless you sister! Stand Strong in His Mightly Power.

[Ron Payne]

Hi Mandy,
You have my sympathies. I think that there is always one like her in the work place.
It is obvious that she has lost it and unfortunately for her, it will eventually come to the notice of her superiors, if it has not already. She is simply "digging her own grave".

As I understand Charge Nurses, they can be quite tough with a "No nonsense" attitude.
If she is talking back to them, then be assured they will settle it. She can only go that far before things go "POP".

Ask the Lord for patience and humility in order not to argue with her. Unfortunately that sort of attitude does not normally change quickly. But they soon become unhappy with the situation they have created, blame everyone for not acknowledging their superiority and then start to look for another job. She needs your prayers.

But don't get into an argument with her, she will soon decide that she deserves better and greener pastures elsewhere. Unfortunately for her she will drag her baggage with.
In the meantime, simply treat her with the Christian love, I know you have this and the ability to forgive her. Do not allow her to upset you.

"The only effect of pride is fighting; but wisdom is with the quiet in spirit. Proverbs 13:10

Your Brother and Friend In Christ - Ron

[Angelus5370]

Hi Mandy,
I am an RN at a nursing home, and have the same problem with one of my charge nurses. She does the same things, but came from a CNA to an LPN, and as I am her supervisor, she treats me with disrespect frequently. She even took my lab coat off the chair, rolled it into a ball, and threw it on the desk! I just simply shook it out, put it on, smiled at her, and told her to have a nice day! You cannot let people like that shake you, you have to show that Jesus lives in your heart on the outside. She is better to me some days, and not so good on others, so I continue to show only good towards her, and pray for her alot...............we are people's window to Christ, so show her warmth, she will change little by little, because she will see that her ways do not shake you. I will also pray for your strenght..........and may God Bless you.......Deb

[Mandy]

To all my dear friends here; thanks so much for your wonderful advice. I know in my heart how to be I guess I just think that if I can just avoid having to be in charge of her; I can avoid any issues. But all of you are right. I cannot let my clinical manager or other co-workers down by not stepping up to the plate and pulling my share of charge duties. For I know that to be a good leader, takes someone to be Christ-like and become a servant to others. Thanks for your time, in Christian Love.

[Mandy]

Again, thank you all for your support and wisdom. I have one more question. I do not have words with this particular person, and avoid any conflict with her. However, when I am in charge, I get complaints (that are legitimate); that she is not "carring her own weight" this is true. So when I have had to delegate an assignment to her; I just tell her you will be recieving this patient into bed #8. If she mumbles I don't know, because I just go on and do want needs to be done. But this is where I feel I am guilty: I think poorly of her work ethics. I feel she is lazy and purposley trys to dump off the heavy patients onto other nurses. Is this a sin to think like this or is this just simply realizing the situation for what it is. I always question myself about this. Am I sinning? Is there scripture to help me with this feeling? Or to guide me in this area? Thanks, your sister in Christ

[Born again believer]

Pray....you are not in this situation by accident...

The LORD has you there to be a Christian witness both to her and those around you who are watching how you will handle this situation.

In Luke 6 Jesus teaches us that we must love our enemies.

"Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another." I John 4:11

In so doing, we fulfill His commandment.

You have a great opportunity before you to demonstrate your faith to those God has placed in your path.

Believe me, they are watching.

In Truth, jim