I have been learning more about God, his grace and the people that have changed his life. I need help. I am very depressed. I was married 23 years to an Acholoic. He was not your typical one - he binged drank.
He could be very nice but they there was a very mean side to him. He use to go to church with the kids and I and then stopped. His drinking to worse so I told he had to go into rehap which he did but during that time he found another women in rehap and they had an affair. That was 5 years ago. Since then he has remarried, live very comfortable and is happily remarried. I was part of his life and his family life for all those years and now no-one on his side of the family wants to talk to me. It hards because I was a good sister-in-law. The divorce took a huge tool on my and the the kids. They are grown now and blame me for the depression I went through and did not take care of thier needs (I was able to keep the house because we both worked very hard and had a summer hom)but I am not doing well on mortgage so I have to have a border. My daughter blames me for not fully being their for her during my depression but I have explained to her so many times that I loved her father and that I really was in a fog. She is very disrepectful and I had to have her move out for 5 month because it got so bad. She has since moved back but it turning back to her old way. I am sick about it because I love her and her bother (he is 25 and lives on his own). It feels like it is not going to work out but I am miserable with her gone and things are hard when she is here.
I had very good government contract job but was laid off and had to take a huge cut in pay so I am not able to but as much food, keep the heat down and I dont buy things unless I need them.
My daughter has hurt me the most by the way she talks to me and when she really wants to push my button she will say Gods name in vain.
I want a good relationship with my children but because of the divorce and how I handld it (drepression) I pray that someday that can happen but for right now I am lonely, hurt and pray that God hears my prayers and keeps me going. Sometimes I really want to give up because they seem to be happy with their dad and that I am the one with the problem. I have discussed religion with them and how important it is and they just dont want to hear it. I know they have to find their own way but I pray if they believe in God then maybe we can mend from all the heartache that our family has lived though. Please, oh please pray for my family and the healing we need to get on the right path.
Thank you and God Bless
Jessatrain
Tags: and, family, for, help, me, my
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