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I have been learning more about God, his grace and the people that have changed his life. I need help. I am very depressed. I was married 23 years to an Acholoic. He was not your typical one - he binged drank.
He could be very nice but they there was a very mean side to him. He use to go to church with the kids and I and then stopped. His drinking to worse so I told he had to go into rehap which he did but during that time he found another women in rehap and they had an affair. That was 5 years ago. Since then he has remarried, live very comfortable and is happily remarried. I was part of his life and his family life for all those years and now no-one on his side of the family wants to talk to me. It hards because I was a good sister-in-law. The divorce took a huge tool on my and the the kids. They are grown now and blame me for the depression I went through and did not take care of thier needs (I was able to keep the house because we both worked very hard and had a summer hom)but I am not doing well on mortgage so I have to have a border. My daughter blames me for not fully being their for her during my depression but I have explained to her so many times that I loved her father and that I really was in a fog. She is very disrepectful and I had to have her move out for 5 month because it got so bad. She has since moved back but it turning back to her old way. I am sick about it because I love her and her bother (he is 25 and lives on his own). It feels like it is not going to work out but I am miserable with her gone and things are hard when she is here.
I had very good government contract job but was laid off and had to take a huge cut in pay so I am not able to but as much food, keep the heat down and I dont buy things unless I need them.
My daughter has hurt me the most by the way she talks to me and when she really wants to push my button she will say Gods name in vain.
I want a good relationship with my children but because of the divorce and how I handld it (drepression) I pray that someday that can happen but for right now I am lonely, hurt and pray that God hears my prayers and keeps me going. Sometimes I really want to give up because they seem to be happy with their dad and that I am the one with the problem. I have discussed religion with them and how important it is and they just dont want to hear it. I know they have to find their own way but I pray if they believe in God then maybe we can mend from all the heartache that our family has lived though. Please, oh please pray for my family and the healing we need to get on the right path.
Thank you and God Bless
Jessatrain
He could be very nice but they there was a very mean side to him. He use to go to church with the kids and I and then stopped. His drinking to worse so I told he had to go into rehap which he did but during that time he found another women in rehap and they had an affair. That was 5 years ago. Since then he has remarried, live very comfortable and is happily remarried. I was part of his life and his family life for all those years and now no-one on his side of the family wants to talk to me. It hards because I was a good sister-in-law. The divorce took a huge tool on my and the the kids. They are grown now and blame me for the depression I went through and did not take care of thier needs (I was able to keep the house because we both worked very hard and had a summer hom)but I am not doing well on mortgage so I have to have a border. My daughter blames me for not fully being their for her during my depression but I have explained to her so many times that I loved her father and that I really was in a fog. She is very disrepectful and I had to have her move out for 5 month because it got so bad. She has since moved back but it turning back to her old way. I am sick about it because I love her and her bother (he is 25 and lives on his own). It feels like it is not going to work out but I am miserable with her gone and things are hard when she is here.
I had very good government contract job but was laid off and had to take a huge cut in pay so I am not able to but as much food, keep the heat down and I dont buy things unless I need them.
My daughter has hurt me the most by the way she talks to me and when she really wants to push my button she will say Gods name in vain.
I want a good relationship with my children but because of the divorce and how I handld it (drepression) I pray that someday that can happen but for right now I am lonely, hurt and pray that God hears my prayers and keeps me going. Sometimes I really want to give up because they seem to be happy with their dad and that I am the one with the problem. I have discussed religion with them and how important it is and they just dont want to hear it. I know they have to find their own way but I pray if they believe in God then maybe we can mend from all the heartache that our family has lived though. Please, oh please pray for my family and the healing we need to get on the right path.
Thank you and God Bless
Jessatrain
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jacob on -
Jess,
I will pray for you and your family. Don't worry at all, surrender all unto Lord Jesus and trust in Him to work all things out, it might take time, use that time to build your relationship with the Lord.
Make sure to spend time seeking the Lord through Prayer and reading the Word of God. He loves you dearly. Hope to get to know you more. Take care. God bless!
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Permalink Reply by Jessatrain on -
Thank you - I needed to hear from someone and God picked you.
I try so hard to surrender and goofy me takes it back - I guess its called depression and the devils work. I am trying and that is why this site is soooo important to me.
Thanks again and God Bless you!!!
Jessatrain
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Permalink Reply by Jacob on
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You are welcome sis!
I try so hard to surrender and goofy me takes it back ----> you are not alone all, we all have a tendency to do that, I do that and so do lot of others I know of,but God is faithful, he will teach us day by day how to do that. No need to worry or think bad of ourself. Just give it back unto the Lord and walk with him. It's daily thing, Holy Spirit will remind us and tell us what we need to surrender or what we hold back. By the way it's all for our good, we are not meant to carry all this burden. Just gives these thoughts to the Lord as soon as you get them, like negative things and all esle that's contrary to the word of God.
Sure devil will come at us, but then we need to stand on God's word for us which says He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. Read God's Word daily and mediate on it and try to remember as much as you can.
What a beautiful testimony by Patience below!!!
Jess don't worry at all, God is with you, who is the creator of heaven and earth and everything in it. He loves you!
God bless.
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Permalink Reply by Jessatrain on
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Thank you and may God Bless you!!!
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Permalink Reply by Sara on -
I was estranged from my father for years because of his depression of his divorce with my mother. Recently I have found Jesus and I have reached out to him and we are speaking again. Don't give up on them, keeping reaching out to them even when it doesn't seem to make a difference because it really does. God bless you and my prayers are with you.
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Permalink Reply by journeymanhd on -
May God Bless you dear Sister. I will keep you in my prayers. God does Love you so much. He is right there with you all the time. Make the choice, choose Jesus. Keep praying for your family no matter what. God hears all of our prayers. It is very easy to Love those who Love us back. But, to Love those who dispise and even hate us is even more important. Jesus spoke with and healed many people. They were from all walks of life. Poor,sick,lame,sinners. The people questioned him about this. He told them physicians do not need to heal the healthy. He is here to heal the suffering. So, it doesn't matter who we are we all are sinners. I like you and all of us are sinners. Let Jesus lift you up Jess.
There is nothing wrong with a good Christian counselor either. Perhaps a pastor. But, most of all share what you are going through with God. May the Glory of God's Love strengthen you in all you do.
journeymanhd
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Permalink Reply by mary jamieson on -
YES I KNOW I AM PRAYING NOW FOR SILVER WHO HAS HATE I NOW SHE IS NOT HATE AND THE REASON WHY SHE IS IN HATE IS THE REASON FOR MY SUFFERING FOR TO RELEASE HER IS SOMETHING ONLY THE LORD CAN DO AND I DO THINK KNOW HE NEEDS US TO INTERSEED FOR THEM SO FATHER I PRAY FOR SILVER AND HER FAMILY TO SHOW THEM MERSEY IN ME AMEN
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Permalink Reply by mary jamieson on
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I AM SHARING WITH HE LORD THE NEED IN ME TO BE STRONGER WITH PEOPLE I CAN NOT RELATE TO WHO CUT THE ARMS AND ARE FULL OF HATE I NEED MORE OF THE LOVE OF GOD TO BE ABLE NOT TO BE HURT OR AFENDED BY THEM TO HELP AND TO BE OF SERVICE TO THE LORD JESUS
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Permalink Reply by Stephen on -
Dear Jessatrain,
I want also to respond to your call for help. I so indentify with Journeymans reply as well! Gods love is so very powerful! It is more powerful than any depression you might suffer and I know what an alchoholic home is like to live in. I can think of nothing more depressing than divorce and an alchoholic partner. I grew up in such a home.
Draw as close as you can to your lord, your love, your redeemer. In that love you will find strength, wisdom, and peace. He will hold you up as a witness to the strength of his love to your precious family.
You ask for help and in that asking avail yourself of the riches of heaven. God is helping you even as we write our support to you! Believe it and act on it. You can know God is faithful. Your family will see that belief and will have no choice but to respond to it.
We serve a God of miracles and I pray that you will see one in your family as well.
Peace and love dear sister, Stephen
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