I feel defeated. Help me, please!

[Ramon]

Sometime ago, I met someone and started hanging out with him. A friendship blossomed based on our common belief in Christ as our brother and saviour. So much has transpired that made me believe that Christ was indeed with us in this friendship. We prayed together, shared thoughts, discussed issues and so on. We even had arguements but settled them mainly on the premise that we were brothers and that brothers must settle issues among themselves. There were instances where our prayers for each one were answered further reinforcing my conviction that Christ was with us in this relationship.

This was so until about a little over a month ago when a woman hit on him online. He introduced me to her and instantly smelled trouble cause she was coming on real strong on both of us. I cautioned my friend to watch out since the teasing was increasingly becoming bold. I cut out of the chat since I felt it getting vulgar. My friend stayed on.

Since this incident, I have seen less and less of my friend and I had a hunch that something was going on. Working this hunch, I prayed and searched scripture for verses that I could present to my friend for him to pray on and reflect and for him to realize that what was going on was wrong. I was lead by another friend to Proverbs 5 & 7 and 2Timothy2:22-26. After reflecting and praying over these words of enlightenment, I had the chance and gathered courage to present it to my friend to gently rebuke his wrong doing. We read the passages together and did a little discussion on it. What I heard in the end was what devasted me, however. He admits to his indiscretions but he feels helpless in the face of such a temptation. Hence, he continues to see this woman ( who incidentally, is also married like my friend). After this confrontation, my friend has began to avoid me and has given flimsy excuses not to hang out as we did before.

This situation has left me feeling so defeated. My effort to bring to him the enlightenment I saw in the verses I presented to him seem to have fallen on deaf ears. I know that in new relationships, passions run high and those involved may be blinded to words of caution from others. I continue to pray and hope that my friend will be drawn back to Christ who remains faithful inspite of........! All I can do is keep on praying ........Meanwhile, I dread the consequences of their actions and further pray that their families be spared of any pain.

[LT]

Ramon,

I know you are hurting over the actions of your friend and clearly see the damage it is causing and the damage to the family that may still occur. Be encouraged. You have done the right thing by confronting your friend and exposing him to the truth. Unfortunately you cannot make choices for him. God allows people to make bad choices and to experience the consequences for those choises. I do not believe one can lose their salvation, therefore, he will experience the loving discipline of God. You can only stand for the truth, pray for Him and be there for him when his world comes crashing down. He will need to eventually take responsibility for his sin, repent and ask for forgiveness. Not for salvation, but for restoration to a position of usability in God's hand.

Praying for you brother,
LT

[Ramon]

Thanks for your insights, LT. I believe that my apprehensions about the affair my friend is carrying on stems from the fact that I grew up in a home where I had a cheating father. I know what repurcussions it has on the family and I dread that this may happen to my friend's family. Indeed I cannot do much at this point but wait and pray. And of course, as a friend and brother, I shall make myself available to my friend when the time comes that he seeks my counsel. I lift his situation to my Saviour that He may intervene and show my friend to right path.

[Ramon]

Indeed Brad, we cannot do much in this situation but to hope that and end would happen to this illicit affair. I dont condemn the person for I know he is blinded by the evil that has overcome him. But I know that the Lord shall one day convict him and he shall confess to his sinful action. For now, I continue to pray in the hope that they realize that this affair must come to an end.

[R]

Amen to this. The best thing that you can do for your friend now is pray faithfully for him,live as a good example to him, and place your worries in God's hands.

[Scribe D'Nucov]

Ramon, I have gone through something similar with a friend. I feel for you. As I began to write, it occurred to me that I can only encourage you to seek the Lord as to how you should deal with your friend.

In my case, I have had to limit contact. I wanted to be the redeemer for my friend. Of course, we both know that is not possible. So, I spend more time praying for him than talking to him. I have cut out all interaction of any deep level. I am not his savior and he is not mine - so why would I talk with him about anything deep?

Since we no longer share anything deeply consequential, I'm in a situation where I can only be a witness to him at some level. I feel sad for him and I feel sad for your friend. For he has lost a treasured thing: a friend who was willing to treat him like a brother.

He has taken a road that can only end in suffering. Pray for him that he will repent.

- Scribe

[Ramon]

Scribe, thank you for your thoughts. It is comforting to know that I am not alone in such a predicament.

As of late, I have given up on my so-called friend after putting in effort for us to resume our friendship as it previously was. I however ended up being insulted with him asking what would he stand to gain in doing so since such an act would not "feed his family" and that he has found comfort and understanding with the woman( not his wife) he is seeing now. Consequently, I have dropped all means of communication and I leave this person in the hands of our Lord.

Indeed, I feel sad now, not for him but for his wife and children who I know will eventually suffer as well as a consequence of his act. I pray that the Lord spare them the pain and anguish when the time comes.

As for me, I have come to realize that this battle is not for me to win. It is a situation where I must submit to the will of my creator ..... that He has the control over everything and that this will be resolved in His time.

(What hurts me more is that both man and woman are professing Christians brazenly calling on God whose sanctity they violate with their act of immorality. But let me not be the judge. For I know the pain the Lord suffers now is greater than mine)

[stillntherace]

My friend keep on praying for your friend. From your post , your friend is being convicted also, in his spirit. About being defeated, your doing everything right, don't give up, your prayers for him, will not go unanswered.

[Karen Maurer]

Hi Ramon,
I've read a book lately and it speaks of, or is entitled, " Hell's Best Kept Secret," and it mentions the Law is to be preached. It shuts the mouth of the sinner who knows the law, there is no argument." The Law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul," Psalm 19:7 "We need to return to the basics of biblical evangelism amd wejre mecessaru, use the Law to bring the knowledge of the sin." Your friend is being seduced by satan and accepting the contract. Does he realize how closely he is walking with the enemy who is out to kill, destroy and devour?

We would not dare quote some of the following verses to encourage someone to come to Christ. This type of "invitation" give the imression that the sinner will be doing GOD a favor if he responds. The gospel is not an invitation because invitations can be politely turned down without fear of reprisal. SCRIPTURE says that "GOD...commands all men everywhere to repent." Acts:17:30

Just a suggestion from me, maybe you are being a little to easy on your friend and not reminding him of the consequences of his sin. Bring him back to basics. The Law of GOD.

When the sinner sees the awful consequences of breaking the Law of GOD-that he cannot escape the certainty of judgment-he will see his need to put on the LORD JESUS CHRIST. When we preach future punishment by the Law, the sinner comes to Christ soley to flee from "the wrath to come." HOLY Conviction will work in his life, if he is truly saved and is full of the HOLY SPIRIT. We Christians cannot live in a life of sin, we sin, we repent, and we are forgiven, but, when we get into a lifestyle, it just becomes to much conviction for us to carry. I pray your friend's back is breaking from carrying such a heavy load and will soon surrender to JESUS'S yoke.

"Instead of preaching that Jesus "improves the flight," we must warn men about the inevitable Jump. Everyone must pass through the door of death."

"It is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment-Hebrews 9:27

I know you don't want to come down hard on your friend because you are already hurt and sensitive about the coming apart of your relationship, but, love him, tell him the truth, tell him what is waiting for him if he doesn't turn his ways back to JESUS.

Most of what I wrote came out of the book, so I'm not trying to seem full of wisdom, but, when I read this book, I thought about how the world is trying to get the Ten Commandments off the walls, out of the schools, and even churches are not remembering the basics. These are mirrors for us to measure ourselves with and I think if we are all honest, we can clearly see how evil we are. We put wedges between GOD and ourselves with our self will and lusts.We all deserve hell fire, but, JESUS made a way for us. Keep your friend at the foot of the CROSS OF CALVARY! Remind him of what JESUS has done for us.

I pray your friend for wisdom in the LORD and for him to turn back and get into GOD'S WORD and back with a great accountibility friend like you. They are both cheaters, adulters, looking for a thrill or something better than what they got, and they are going to get the same thing they are seeking, only in the process, possibly lose what they do have.

I hope I have given you words of wisdom in counseling your friend. Try to make him aware of his sin and what is coming before him before he destroys his life as he now knows it, (or before he started with this affair), remind him of how content he was with doing the right thing, then doing the next right thing, and the next right thing...GOD'S BLESSINGS are going to be much greater for him than what satan has in store for him.

And remind him that sin keeps you longer than you want to stay, takes you further than you want to go, and does more evil than you ever dreamed you were capable of.

PEACE,

Karen...><>...These are the invitation Scripture that this book suggests you don't use to bring him back. The give him a sense of choice.

"All who desire to live godly in CHRIST JESUS will suffer persecution," 2 Tim 3:12

"We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of GOD; Acts 14:22

Many are the afflictions of the righteous," Psalm 34:19

In the would you will have tribulation," John 16:33

[maggie hancox]

you have apealed to your brother and he has not listened, take it discreately to your pastor.

Dear brother, you have done your part, and how brave you where!
Do not feel defeated, you have done your part, and succeeded in doing so!
The rest is Gods work to do!